zeldathemes

i-effed-it-all-up:

nah sorry i cant go out tonight, i have plans to spiral into uncontrollable anxiety starting in the early evening and ending at roughly 3 am

I can’t imagine thinking I want to die not having done shit for myself. I need to get out of here.

ghosturs:

*stays alive just in case things get better*

10.19.14[[MORE]] I envision a musty bridge. Where the air is crisp and just cool enough for you to watch the whisps of your exhale in front of your eyes. I don’t know if I’m with anyone, but most likely not, I don’t think I could do it in front of someone. I look out to the water that blends into darkness. Maybe it’s a pier after all. Or maybe a rooftop. If I fall into water, I’ll need weights at my ankles. But if it’s a taller building, or if I manage to get roof access to a skyscraper, falling into oncoming traffic or a pedestrian filled sidewalk would be troublesome, and messy. I live on the feeling of turning my back, pressing it on the cold fence. I don’t know if I toss my right leg, then left, and sit on the ledge for a bit of time. I don’t want to do it face first. I want my back turned. When I’m falling my body will probably flail around anyway. I always feel like I’m sinking. Maybe I’m not at a pier. Whether it’s the pavement or water, I want to throw my body over a ledge. I’m tired. I no longer wish to be here. 
I was doing so well. It’s always bad, but I didn’t say anything about it. I kept my mouth shut and my words to myself. I end up choking on the toxicity and poison and it leaves my clothes black and bloodstained and my body purple and bruised. I tried. I’m trying. I can’t breathe. and this depletion of fresh air makes me not want to try to anymore. I breathe in toxicity. I’m probably producing it myself. I’m so close. I need to get out. I’m exhausted. 

10.19.14

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my life is last minute ragret followed by aggressive cris

10.18.14
Here you are, more than halfway through the year. Time is passing faster than you could have ever thought. It’s slipping between the spaces of your fingers like sand.
It’s okay to feel lost. And you will feel lost. You can rest, but you can’t stop. Just give it time. I’m proud of you having made it this far. It’s wonderful. You’re wonderful. Deep breaths. We do what we can manage. 

10.18.14

Here you are, more than halfway through the year. Time is passing faster than you could have ever thought. It’s slipping between the spaces of your fingers like sand.

It’s okay to feel lost. And you will feel lost. You can rest, but you can’t stop. Just give it time. I’m proud of you having made it this far. It’s wonderful. You’re wonderful. Deep breaths. We do what we can manage. 

default album art
Song: Constant Conversation (St. Lucia Remix)
Artist: Passion Pit
Played: 11,909 times.

x-w-o-l-f-x:

Passion Pit - Constant Conversation (St. Lucia Remix)

malformalady:

A reservoir that has turned blood-red as a result of mining pollution in Sháoguān, China.

malformalady:

A reservoir that has turned blood-red as a result of mining pollution in Sháoguān, China.